9 reasons orgasms are more important than ever after becoming a mom


Congratulations! After nine or ten boring months of pregnancy, or months or years of waiting for an adoption, or a sudden accident that unexpectedly grants you sole custody of your nieces and nephews (if that’s the movie Raising Helen and you are Kate Hudson; it could happen, people, and we have to be prepared), you are a parent now. Being a parent is a whole new ball game, and like a ball game, it’s mostly fun and exciting. But, just like a ball game, it can be painful, difficult, frustrating, and leaves you with almost no time for sex. (OK, not the most elegant metaphor, but point out how it’s wrong. You can’t.)

To understand sex after having a baby, not to mention having an orgasm after bringing a baby into your life, is a bit of a sticky wicket. There are a host of reasons why this ends up being difficult or low priority. But I tell you, my friends, that orgasms are important. Moreover, they are even more important now that we are moms. An orgasm is the gift you give yourself (or the gift you kindly encourage someone to give you, or better yet, share with you). It should not be an aspect of our happiness and well-being that swept to the side and dismissed as unnecessary. Orgasms are incredibly necessary, now more than ever, and here’s why:

You need to de-stress

There are many ways to relax: yoga, wine, running, curling up with a good book… But my favorite is to get off. And it’s not just me being cheeky – science is on my side, people! Orgasms reduce stress. Do. Go with it. It’s like, “OK, this body can only handle so many sensations at once. Stress, you gotta go, because every part of me is seriously enjoying that right now.”

Your body may have changed since giving birth and you need to relearn the ropes

When I was pregnant with my first baby, all I read about the postpartum vagina was more or less, “Don’t worry! Your vagina is back to how it was. And even if it’s true, there’s a little unspoken, unprinted asterisk after that sentence, and then a very long footnote in fine print. The truth is, for many women, childbirth changes the body. Typically these changes are minor and largely cosmetic, but that doesn’t rule out the very real possibility of some major changes occurring…including the low. Either way, it’s not uncommon for you to need some time to rediscover yourself…with yourself. What better way to rediscover this than by seeking orgasm?

Orgasms are good for your overall health and well-being

Your relationship deserves orgasms

Having a baby is basically the ultimate relationship test. This will put you under stress: emotional, physical, financial and any other type of stress. And we’ve already talked about what helps with stress, right? ! So I’m not saying orgasms will mystically fix a floundering relationship, but they can be a part of it. The kind of personal attention and time for each other that orgasms often require and even if they can’t even help fix it, at least you still get by, right ? Maybe not everyone wins, but of course nobody loses either, if you know what I mean.

Your pubic area deserves happy times

Whether it’s vaginal or C-section, our beautiful little babies wreak havoc on our most delicate parts. My son left a scar that I love now but which initially, with the staples in it, looked like the greedy, angry smile of the man-eating plant of Little Shop of Horrors. My daughter, who exited through the originally designated exit of my body, left me with second-degree tears in remembrance. The best description I’ve ever heard of the postpartum vagina comes from Daya in Orange is the new black

I have nothing wrong. It’s like, you know, when you get punched in the eye and it swells? Except I got hit in the chocha.

After all that pain (or maybe even trauma), we deserve good feelings out there.

You need more for your money

I’m not saying you stop having sex once you have kids (more on that in a minute) but you are Probably going to have less, at least for a while. Maybe it’s because you don’t have that much time. Maybe it’s because you’re exhausted. Perhaps you still have physical trauma at birth. Maybe you and your partner are going through a tough time adjusting to your new roles as parents. Maybe the time when you got used to having sex (say, in the morning) is now taken up with child-rearing chores, and the change in schedule has disrupted your rhythm. Maybe you don’t have that much time to date. It could be because your child was born with the ability to know exactly when you want to hit and wakes up as soon as you start putting it on. The thing is, when you To do having sex, you basically have to contain enough orgasmic energy to last you until the next time you manage to have sex.

Sometimes you have to focus on yourself

It’s easy to get lost in motherhood and to allow the needs of your beloved mini-human to somehow override all of your time, space, and personal desires. That’s why it’s important to do something that’s all about you. So grab your partner (or maybe even better for the purposes of “me” time, your vibrator) and presto!

I mean… Have you had an orgasm lately?

These things are bee’s knees. The first time I had an orgasm (during…self-exploration, in my youth), I literally thought, “Oh my God, I just invented the best thing ever! J I need to do this all the time!” To be honest, not much has changed. Motherhood can change your life, but orgasms are forever awesome.

You must fight the powers that insist you are no longer sexual

There’s this weird concept that once a woman becomes a mother, she’s no longer a sexual creature. LOLWUT? ! Guys. As a mother, I can assure you that literally nothing about my libido or my attitudes towards sex has changed since I had a few kids. So really, having an orgasm as a mother is about fighting that fucking power and challenging the limiting and harmful stereotypes. ORGASMS FOR FEMINISM!


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