Beyond “Fifty Shades”: Sex Experts Share Their Favorite Books


Highlights of history

  • The blockbuster “Fifty Shades of Gray” aroused great interest
  • Ian Kerner Asks Some Of His Favorite Sex Experts To Pick Their Favorite Sex Books
  • Kerner says the list is just the beginning of many things worth exploring and learning
With the resounding success of “Fifty shades of Grey“, many people are curious to dip their toes (not to mention other parts of the body) in more sexually adventurous waters.

I always make sure to clarify that even if the adventures of Ana and Christian may constitute a convincing erotic thread, their story is by no means a precise description of BDSM relationships (bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, masochism) Nor is “Fifty Shades” a kind of guide.

For instruction on this topic you will need to look to the work of real sexually positive educators such as Clarisse Thorn Where Tristan Taormino and their books “The feminist S&M” and “The Ultimate Guide to Kink,” respectively.

But there’s no denying that “Fifty Shades” has sparked widespread interest in how to improve our sex lives – and what better way to do that than a good “how-to” book?

If you are uncomfortable talking to your friends, doctor, therapist, or even your partner about sex, these books can be an important resource, whether they give you new information, help you solve a problem. problem, make you become more adventurous or simply turn yourself on.

So, in the spirit of sharing, I asked some of my favorite sex experts to pick their favorite sex books:

Debby Herbenick, researcher at Indiana University and author of “Sex made easy: “
“I recommend without hesitation ‘The new male sexuality‘by Bernie Zilbergeld. A classic in the field, it gives a rich picture of men’s sex life, including the myths they are taught about sex and common issues such as erectile problems, communication blockages and rapid ejaculation, as well as solutions to these problems. “
Joe kort, clinical sexologist and founder of the Center for Relationship and Sexual Health:
“I recommend Jack Morin’s’The erotic spirit‘, which helps remove shame from sexual behaviors and fantasies by understanding what they mean in a non-sexual way. Morin explains where fantasies and desires come from and how shame can be removed and replaced with healthy acceptance for individuals and couples. “
Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite your pleasure:
“‘Hot sex: over 200 things you can try tonight‘by Jamye Waxman and Emily Morse is a fun, sultry, flirty, creative and tantalizing book filled with over 200 ways to tease, play, intertwine and explore. When I coach couples who are in a sexual rut, I suggest they use this book as a tool. “
Laura Berman, sex educator, researcher and therapist:
“If I had to choose, I would choose either ‘The anatomy of love‘by Helen Fisher or’The 5 languages ​​of love‘by Gary Chapman. Both are extremely useful for couples to understand how men and women are wired differently and for learning to love each other in a way that lasts. “
Justin lehmiller, a Harvard University social psychologist and online sex columnist at The psychology of human sexuality:
“‘Orgasm technology‘by Rachel Maines tells the story of’ hysteria ‘, a false female medical condition that led to the invention of the vibrator. Maines’ book is a meticulously researched, fascinating and humorous look at the origin of hysteria and the birth of the motorized sex toy.
” I also love ‘Bonk: the curious coupling of science and sex‘by Mary Roach, which traces the story of how scientists have studied sexual arousal and orgasm in a very engaging way that refuses to take itself too seriously and never gets bogged down in jargon or technical details.

“On a personal level, ‘Bonk’ holds a special place in my heart for helping me realize how fun a career in sex research can be.”

Megan Andelloux, certified sexuality educator and sex therapist:
“‘America’s war on sex‘by Marty Klein describes ridiculous laws and research on sex that Americans are led to believe to be true. It’s a must-read book for anyone interested in sociology, psychology, sex education, law, and parenting.
“I am also a fan of ‘My secret garden‘by Nancy Friday, who spoke about female fantasies long before erotica really became popular. ”

I have read and recommended many of these books myself, and this list is just the beginning of many outstanding works worth exploring and learning.

In my opinion, no list would be complete without Esther perelCaptive mating“, a great guide to incorporating a sense of sexual mystery into long-term relationships.
And on a personal note, in 10 years of writing sex books, my first, “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasing a Woman, “remains my most popular.

Back then, I often thought that many men – through no fault of their own – knew more about what was under the hood of a car than under a woman’s clothes or what behind her orgasm.

In writing “She Comes First”, I thank the Federation of Feminist Health Centers for Women and their book “A new vision of a woman’s body“(unfortunately out of print) and to the excellent book by Rebecca Chalker,”The clitoral truth. “Any man or woman truly interested in learning more about a woman’s full sexual potential should read this book.

No matter where your sexual interests lie, you’re sure to find something new on the shelves at your local bookstore. And if you’re too embarrassed to shop in person – well, that’s the beauty of the Kindle, Nook, and other e-readers – no brown packaging is needed!

Any books to add to the list that have helped you improve your sex life? Tell me about them in the comments below. I am always looking for a good read.


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