So my partner and I agreed to be open to anal, and she asked me to use a condom, which I don’t mind at all. I’m just wondering how we could start the foreplay and get into the real act? I want it to be as wonderful for her as possible.
Dongman (male, 18)
You are already on the right track by prioritizing its comfort and pleasure. Anal is popular in porn, but it’s real life, and the kind of pounding shown on screen is rarely enjoyable. The anus is full of nerve endings and rough sex can hurt.
Yes, use a condom. This will prevent the spread of bacteria. Do not use the same condom for vaginal sex, as it carries a very high risk of urinary tract infections. Lubrication is a must. The anus does not lubricate naturally like the vagina, and it is not as flexible. Thicker lubricants, like KY, tend to last longer than fine water-based lubricants. Baby wipes can help if the going gets tough.
Start with a little penetration, perhaps with a small vibrator or your finger. You may want to do this a few times before going any further. When she’s ready for sex, take it easy. Lying on your stomach will be easier and less painful than doggy style or missionary position. Or she might want to be on top for more control.
The head is the largest part of the penis, so gently bring it in and give it a few minutes to get used to. Ask her how she is feeling. If she’s ready to go further, swing slowly; don’t push. Moving too fast could hurt her.
To your girlfriend: Relax and communicate. Be open to having an orgasm. Stimulate your clitoris or ask your partner to do it. Penetration can hurt a bit and you may feel like you’re going to poop, but that feeling wears off pretty quickly. Tell him to stop if it is painful. And be sure to pee right after to avoid getting a UTI.
Have fun, but take it easy. Ultimately (ahem) it’s about taking advantage of each other.